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Post by obeseguy on Nov 9, 2007 17:29:17 GMT
The title is pretty self explanatory.
I stole the idea off. Actually I can't even remember who, that just adds to the disrespect.
Never mind.
I'll post some later when I don't have to be at the doctors.
NB: This isn't 'the boy/girl trouble thread'.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2007 19:52:39 GMT
I don't really have many that I'm entirely comfortable with sharing, apart from the time I threw a brick through my ex-boyfriend's window because he was cheating on me with a friend and subsequently knocked her up.  Oh there was that time I was kissing a boy and then o noes I fell backwards into the fountain and flashed my knickers and everyone laughed - but that may have been from an issue of Sugar. I like this thread so I am merely bumping it. |
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Post by obeseguy on Nov 9, 2007 20:03:43 GMT
Ahahah I love those "embarassing stories" things. They're fantastic. And the brick-through-window thing is wicked. Keep it up  . My most recent amusing 'event' was few months ago when I had a thing going with the American guy. And his... well I suppose you could call it his in-bed-catchphrase was... (and imagine this in a vaguely Southern accent with all the subtlety one would expect of a stereotypical Yank) "DO YOU LIKE THAT??" I didn't. The worst thing was that I told that to some friends while in a suggestible condition (rat-arsed), and they keep... well, taking the piss! "Mmm! This pasta is really nice." "Oh yeah? DO YOU LIKE THAT??"  |
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Post by indiequeen on Nov 9, 2007 20:04:24 GMT
my ex boyfriend said he felt uncomfy with the age gap (he was 18, i was 15) so we broke up. a week later, he wuz with a 14 year old
LOLWORTHY
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2007 20:10:19 GMT
Ahahah I love those "embarassing stories" things. They're fantastic. And the brick-through-window thing is wicked. Keep it up . My most recent amusing 'event' was few months ago when I had a thing going with the American guy. And his... well I suppose you could call it his in-bed-catchphrase was... (and imagine this in a vaguely Southern accent with all the subtlety one would expect of a stereotypical Yank) "DO YOU LIKE THAT??" I didn't. The worst thing was that I told that to some friends while in a suggestible condition (rat-arsed), and they keep... well, taking the piss! "Mmm! This pasta is really nice." "Oh yeah? DO YOU LIKE THAT??" I LIKE THAT ;D my ex boyfriend said he felt uncomfy with the age gap (he was 18, i was 15) so we broke up. a week later, he wuz with a 14 year old LOLWORTHY Would you like me to put a brick through his window too? |
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Post by indiequeen on Nov 9, 2007 20:11:40 GMT
please sarah!
can i watch and laugh?
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Post by Clare on Nov 9, 2007 20:32:45 GMT
Could we go on a tour around the country and throw bricks through the windows of our wanker exes, please? Because this would delight me greatly.
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Post by obeseguy on Nov 9, 2007 20:40:28 GMT
As I am aware that I have previously been a terrible, inexcusable bitch, I have reservations about this proposed tour.  . |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2007 20:40:37 GMT
Yes. please sarah! can i watch and laugh? Yes. WE WILL ALL LAUGH. Disclaimer: I don't condone throwing bricks through windows, I'm not proud of it, it was completely out of character for me and a horribly loutish thing to do, but at the time I was so far beyond upset and angry (and drunk) that the only think I could think of that would really hurt him would be to smash fuck out of the double glazing he'd just paid for in his new flat. (He never called the police because I had plenty of delicious info on him. Oh yes. It will be revealed if he ever gives me need to do so.) |
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Post by Clare on Nov 9, 2007 20:47:34 GMT
As I am aware that I have previously been a terrible, inexcusable bitch, I have reservations about this proposed tour. . Don't worry, the tour is more about getting absymally drunk and female bonding than any actual criminal acts. |
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Post by Lanuit on Nov 9, 2007 21:35:13 GMT
This one time i was around my ex boyfriend's house and i had a cold and he decided to use the really really cheesey line ' Has anyone ever told you you're beautiful?' and i started laughing so much and yeah ... lets just say laughing when you have a cold is not good as snot comes out.
You may smite me because it's disgusting.....
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Post by allison on Nov 9, 2007 22:51:07 GMT
my first romantic encounter was mildy funny. sort of. first kiss:
in sixth grade i had this friend named nick and we both knew we liked each other (i told my friends who told his friends who told him, and vice versa) and we'd hang out at the creek after school and push each other on the swing pretending to be just friends (but our hands would slide, heheheh) and one day we were standing on the dirt bank (a hill/cliff, really, that in autumn would turn into this really dangerous mud slide, causing many a romantic encounter to end up in the creek itself or at least covered in mud) above the crick about to go home and he said, "alice, may i kiss you?"
and i started laughing
and he said, "hmm, hollywood doesn't really prepare you for this....."
and then i managed to stop laughing and we tried to kiss except i was standing above him on the hill (it is a very steep slope) and since we were only in sixth grade we were the same height, i was therefore much taller than him and it was very awkward so we tried it again the next day on the road above the creek.
actually that wasn't my first romantic encounter. my first was probably in second grade when this kid david asked if we could be girlfriend and boyfriend and i said "no, i already have more boyfriends than i know what to do with" (not actual boyfriends, i didn't know what a Boyfriend was, i merely meant i had loads of friends who were boys and i got tired of playing cars and rockets with them). david took it poorly and went and sat in the middle of the soccer field and the big kids yelled at him and trampled him and everyone was mad at me. when i told my mother she laughed and i felt awful.
anyway.
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Post by mynameisHughGrant on Nov 9, 2007 22:51:49 GMT
As I am aware that I have previously been a terrible, inexcusable bitch, I have reservations about this proposed tour. . Don't worry, the tour is more about getting absymally drunk and female bonding than any actual criminal acts. like thelma and louise? |
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Post by newslang on Nov 9, 2007 22:58:59 GMT
I was a mean child (well, not really) but anyway...when I was 12 this boy in my class asked me to dance at a dance and I said yes because my mother told me to not be rude at dances because asking someone to dance is not an easy thing to do.
Anyway, so we were dancing and before this someone had said "oh he has a crush on someone, etc..." but he had been dancing with people and whatnot so I didn't think anything.
And then all of a sudden he was like "Uh, um, Victoria...there's something -" and I cut him off and said "EWW! you don't like ME do you?!" and he was like "uh, um..." and then ran away and cried in a corner the rest of the dance.
It's been almost 8 years and my friends still bug me about it. He was always so mean to me! I'll never understand boys....
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Post by Xteenuh on Nov 9, 2007 23:24:25 GMT
HAHAHA VICTORIA. Don't worry, I'm a total bitch to guys too.
Male friend who's liked me for 5 years but I've never liked him back: "You know Christina, I just wanna say that you look very nice."
Me: "Um... thanks..." *gives weird I-Don't-Appreciate-Your-Compliments-Because-It's-Not-Going-To-Get-Me-To-Ever-Date-You look at him*
Male friend: "Well come on, I was just being nice. And just be glad I wasn't completely honest and said 'You look hot.' Which you really do."
Me: "...........
I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU."
And that, my friends, is my "love life".
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Post by admin on Nov 9, 2007 23:33:45 GMT
My first kiss was with a girl who looked like the Honey Monster...
I don't know which part is funnier.
Cheerio, Michael. xxx
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Post by bridgetbegins on Nov 9, 2007 23:41:18 GMT
Oh, heavens, my entire love life is filled with entertaining stories of romantic encounters.
Kind of entertaining (to me):
I split my girlfriends lip with my braces. Twice. In the span of two days.
I also got my braces stuck on the retainers of a dear friend and couldn't get them unstuck. He had to take out his retainers and untangle them from my braces.
Slightly more entertaining:
I slept with my best (kind of) gay friend. We a) couldn't get the condom out of the package b)couldn't manage to find a comfortable position and consequently spent a lot of time flip-flopping around my single bed and c) were so mortified halfway through the sex we kind of just gave up. And then d) walked down stairs (smelling vaguely like sex with mussed hair in our knickers) as my parents walked in from the grocery store. They asked if we had just "gone running"...
Most entertaining (once again, to me...)(it comes in many parts)
Just before the first time I slept with my girlfriend, we went on a grand escapade to the drug store to try and find dental dams. While we were there, we ran into our then other roommate, who was buying condoms and tampons (?)(he was a boy) and vaseline.
This is only really entertaining to me because he walked in on us (stark naked holding dental dams and trying to puzzle out the instructions in French) to ask us about condom usage (with a box of condoms and the awkward diagram that comes inside of it).
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Post by newslang on Nov 9, 2007 23:46:55 GMT
The last person I kissed (ooh, about two months ago...yey) was just buying me a drink at the bar...he was a random....and my friend came up beside me and I was like "ruuun!" and she was like "what?!" and I was like "run away!" So we ran away. I think he may have heard me say this ahaha.
I did get a free drink out of him, though. So that was good.
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Post by obeseguy on Nov 9, 2007 23:48:52 GMT
The little instructions that come with condoms are always pure comedy. Maybe one of my most annoying habits is always insisting on reading them aloud. "JESS! Shut up!" "....Place the condom over the end of the penis..." "Ok that's it" *puts clothes on and leaves*.
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Post by Jam. on Nov 10, 2007 0:01:09 GMT
Oh Michael...but there's good looking like the Honey Monster, cute and...fluffy or just a massively out of proportioned head witha hoooge chin.
Not my story, but in my opinion, it's worthy of this thread.
My friend fancied her gynecologist (which I will say isn't the best person to fancy) and she was in the waiting room and she really needed the loo, so she went to the loo, only to find out they had no loo roll! So she rummanged in her bag and got some age old tissue and was done with it. Then she was on the table, legs akimbo etc, then he picked up his tongs and picked something off and put it on a tissue then into the bin and she asked what it was, but he just said it was nothing. On her way out she looked in the bin to see a 2nd class stamp on the tissue. THE HORROR!
And oh god! "Gone running?" PARENTS! My mothers was ..."moving furniture?"
Victoria, you seem to have an affinity with words!
"Be nice or I'll put a brick through your window, scumbag, coming to a town near you...if you're not careful."
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