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Post by hangontoyourego on Jun 21, 2007 15:51:40 GMT
Hello my children. Sorry about my typing I'm just getting use to this internet thing. I often find my hands are two big for the keyboard. My son Joshua, informed me that on the feminism thread some of you had questions for me. I think it's time I stopped being so aloof, after all I'm a nice normal guy at heart. I enjoy, hiking, candle lit dinners, and watching Emmerdale lets have a rap session.
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Post by tesla on Jun 21, 2007 15:53:46 GMT
When were you born? Who's your mom? What happened to Jesus in order to supply Joshua with such an enviable position?
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Post by irrelevant on Jun 21, 2007 15:55:38 GMT
rad! I can smite God!
I'd prefer Your answers to be written in Hebrew. Can You make it happen?
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Post by tesla on Jun 21, 2007 15:56:30 GMT
Dear God,
For the record, Joeb is evil and only wants you to write in Hebrew so that I can't understand your answers. Don't be evil. Leave it to Satan.
Love Alicia.
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Post by Elderberry Fucking Fanta on Jun 21, 2007 15:57:51 GMT
God is a libertine!
Am also finding the fact that God can be offline very weird.
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Post by irrelevant on Jun 21, 2007 15:59:31 GMT
Dear God,
Is it safe to say that Your stint with Mary is considered adultery?
Joeb
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Post by irrelevant on Jun 21, 2007 16:00:36 GMT
God is a libertine! Am also finding the fact that God can be offline very weird. Santa Claus is now SUPERIOR.
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Post by hangontoyourego on Jun 21, 2007 16:01:42 GMT
When were you born? Who's your mom? What happened to Jesus in order to supply Joshua with such an enviable position? You only ask such full hardy questions cos you're weak human brain was not designed to be able to understand eternity. I have no beginning, no end. I am the Alpha and the Omega. I know whats going to happen in Emmerdale before even TV Quick do! As for your second question. Joshua is Jesus's latest regeneration. Thats why he likes Doctor Who so much you see. The heathens who invented that show, totally ripped off my idea. Every once in a while I send him down to Earth in order to keep people on the right path or save everyones ass, his past regenerations including, Jesus, Muhammad, Krishna, Buddha, Guru Nanak, and L.Ron Hubbard.
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Post by ihaveanego on Jun 21, 2007 16:03:07 GMT
God is clearly inferior to me.
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Post by bluearrangements on Jun 21, 2007 16:04:03 GMT
you are a rubbish father you have missed every one of my birthdays. not even a card in the post
everyone knows you love jesus the most
oh 'jesus is so perfect', 'jesus is so clever' 'jesus is the saviour'....
how do you think that makes me and my 6.6 billion brothers and sisters feel? i wish i was adopted
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Post by hangontoyourego on Jun 21, 2007 16:05:07 GMT
God is clearly inferior to me. Ha! Your just bitter I PWNED you in that whole Job bet all those thousands of years ago, haha in your face Satan.
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Post by ihaveanego on Jun 21, 2007 16:05:29 GMT
Hannah, I'll send you cards for every holiday (excluding Christmas and Easter and any Jewish holidays), if you join the dark side. I have cookies. Chocolate chip cookies.
Good God, God! Quit bringing that up. Never again.
At least I had the balls to attempt befriending Jesus. It only lasted 3 days, but come now. All you did was have him crucified.
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Post by bluearrangements on Jun 21, 2007 16:07:54 GMT
A box of timtams and you've got yourself a deal.
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Post by hangontoyourego on Jun 21, 2007 16:08:03 GMT
you are a rubbish father you have missed every one of my birthdays. not even a card in the post everyone knows you love jesus the most oh 'jesus is so perfect', 'jesus is so clever' 'jesus is the saviour'.... how do you think that makes me and my 6.6 billion brothers and sisters feel? i wish i was adopted Well maybe is you spent less time whining and more time pleasing me like Jesus you would earn more of my heavenly love, I mean you could just try a little harder to get good grades or get on the cheerleading squad? But oh noo, nothing I do is good enough for Hannah. Frankly you are 6.6 billion disappointments!
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Post by irrelevant on Jun 21, 2007 16:08:42 GMT
Dear Satan,
what's the drink of choice in hell?
Joeb
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Post by ihaveanego on Jun 21, 2007 16:09:20 GMT
Well maybe is you spent less time whining and more time pleasing me like Jesus you would earn more of my heavenly love, I mean you could just try a little harder to get good grades or get on the cheerleading squad? But oh noo, nothing I do is good enough for Hannah. That's not love, it's greed. Wait, who's supposed to be evil in this thread? A box of timtams and you've got yourself a deal. Deal then. 'You free Thursday? Dear Satan, what's the drink of choice in hell? Joeb Joeb, I know who you really are. Adding that 'e' to your name won't help you escape me. ~Satan
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Post by bluearrangements on Jun 21, 2007 16:14:13 GMT
Deal then. 'You free Thursday? Pick me up at 7.30? Wow, a date with satan, Dad is gonna be sooo pissed!
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Post by irrelevant on Jun 21, 2007 16:14:30 GMT
Can I stay in purgatory? I mean, both of you guys suck.
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Post by hangontoyourego on Jun 21, 2007 16:15:29 GMT
rad! I can smite God! I'd prefer Your answers to be written in Hebrew. Can You make it happen? No! Just read my first book The Old Testament. I did everything for those Jews and they back slided time and time again. I mean I can forgive all sins, I'm dead good like that. But mass stupidity I just can't let slide. I made plauges of locusts and frogs! I made I turned the Nile to blood! I parted the red-sea! I stopped the Sun falling in order than the Jews could have more time to kick Canaanite ass, I even physically appeared from Heaven to talk to my favourite Jews. Still all the way though that book, they keep cheating on me again and again with other Gods! It gives me Holy emo angst just to think about it. One day I will have a celestial episode of Jerry Springer, so I can kick Baal and Moloch's ASS for luring my people away from me so often. Untill Steve pulls me back of course..
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Post by ihaveanego on Jun 21, 2007 16:17:52 GMT
Hannah: Pissing off people is my nature. It can be yours too for a small fee. Your soul. In return, I'll lay off the torture for 2000 years. Joeb: I do not suck. GOD sucks. He even makes you capitalize "him" when speaking to Him. What an egocentric bastard! I made [and] I turned the Nile to blood! Nils*
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