An interview with God.

[lastgoodbye]

God and Satan are both Patrick Wolf fans? Interesting.

Unfortunately, I don't think he is much of a fan of either of you guys.

[ihaveanego]

Patrick Wolf is actually a recent acquaintance of mine. I showed him drugs, and although he did the GOOD(ugh) thing and rejected them, somehow the media saw me and made fit to blame Patrick for it.

It's okay, media. I approve.

[hangontoyourego]

lastgoodbye said:

God and Satan are both Patrick Wolf fans? Interesting.

Unfortunately, I don't think he is much of a fan of either of you guys.

I prefer his early stuff.

[ihaveanego]

See how God's ignoring me? He's clearly dumbfounded. I win.

[irrelevant]

ihaveanego said:

Joeb: I do not suck. GOD sucks. He even makes you capitalize "him" when speaking to Him. What an egocentric bastard!

So I'm supposed to forget the whole boils incident and the loss of all my goodies?

Then God goes ahead and lets me live 'til I'm 140. Yeah, thanks God, that was depressing.

[Joeb would like to thank Wikipedia, not God for this post]

[ihaveanego]

joebwuzhere said:

So I'm supposed to forget the whole boils incident and the loss of all my goodies?

I'll give 'em back to you in return for your immortal soul.

[bluearrangements]

ihaveanego said:

Hannah: Pissing off people is my nature. It can be yours too for a small fee. Your soul. In return, I'll lay off the torture for 2000 years.

Satan, it's sounds like you're running some sort of dodgy escort service. However, timtams in return for my soul is a pretty sweet deal, so I'll ignore all that. But if you want anything extra, I'll be wanting some chocolate fingers okaay?

ew. mental images. Do I have to sign in blood or can I just use a red pen? I'm really squeamish about that sort of thing.

[hangontoyourego]

joebwuzhere said:

ihaveanego said:

Joeb: I do not suck. GOD sucks. He even makes you capitalize "him" when speaking to Him. What an egocentric bastard!

So I'm supposed to forget the whole boils incident and the loss of all my goodies?

Then God goes ahead and lets me live 'til I'm 140. Yeah, thanks God, that was depressing.

[Joeb would like to thank Wikipedia, not God for this post]

Don't forgot I gave you new daughters to replace the old ones that I killed and they where MUCH fitter than the old ones. See Job 42:13 to 15.

[ihaveanego]

bluearrangements said:

Satan, it's sounds like you're running some sort of dodgy escort service. However, timtams in return for my soul is a pretty sweet deal, so I'll ignore all that. But if you want anything extra, I'll be wanting some chocolate fingers okaay?

ew. mental images. Do I have to sign in blood or can I just use a red pen? I'm really squeamish about that sort of thing.

I have plenty of chocolate fingers. Mostly the ones I stole from the gluttons, but they're still in good shape after all these years.

I guess you can use a red pen.....I did, afterall, promise to lay off the torture for a while. All right then.

[bluearrangements]

satan may be a little bit conniving but he has a far superior moustache. god's is all over the place, like a slug on is face, like kissing a scourer, we shout it louder, no eres che guevara etc...

(moustache rap © The No Moustachios)

[irrelevant]

hangontoyourego said:

Don't forgot I gave you new daughters to replace the old ones that I killed and they where MUCH fitter than the old ones. See Job 42:13 to 15.

You act as if incest is no longer a sin. If it is, bugger off with your little book.

[ihaveanego]

bluearrangements said:

satan may be a little bit conniving but he has a far superior moustache.

You think? I've been trying to keep it trim and attractive for the past eternity, but I wasn't sure that I've been successful. Most women get turned off by the red skin and sharp horns. The 'stache is all I've got.

[irrelevant]

ihaveanego said:

You think? I've been trying to keep it trim and attractive for the past eternity, but I wasn't sure that I've been successful. Most women get turned off by the red skin and sharp horns. The 'stache is all I've got.

The red skin is just a gag to hide the blemishes right?

[ihaveanego]

joebwuzhere said:

The red skin is just a gag to hide the blemishes right?

Watch your mouth, slave, or I'll give you worse blemishes than you've already got!

[bluearrangements]

Awwh, even Satan has self-esteem issues. I think you're pretty sexy, and you have the advantage of not being everyone's Dad. Maybe you're just going about it the wrong way. I know boasting about how evil you are may sound impressive to you, but try and look at it from a woman's standpoint. We much prefer kittens and flowers and crochet, show your vulnerable side and you'll be well in with the ladies.

[ihaveanego]

But if I show a vulnerable side, God will find a way to defeat me. Plus, I have to be tough to rule my fiery pit of fire.

[bluearrangements]

See that's where you're wrong, cos then God won't be able to use the whole 'Satan is evil' argument and then everyone will realise what a pathetic wimp he is and that heaven is dead boring and you will become all powerful. You'd be the young new hip god a bit like Tony Blair used to be, except he wasn't really god. He still would be if he didn't refuse to grow a moustache.

I'm telling you Satan, you've got to change. The bully never wins in the end. Stop hiding behind the horns.

[ihaveanego]

But I am evil. And it's fun. I admit it. I just need some nice, evil women to love me eternally. Want some champagne? It's from the year 1542. Good stuff.

[bluearrangements]

Are you trying to woo me with champagne? You don't have to get me drunk, just bring out the biscuits.

[bluearrangements]

And I am rather evil myself.
I'm trying to corrupt Satan of all people/beings.

Plus sometimes I step on ants. (Although I do feel reaaaally bad about it afterwards)