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Post by youwantthis on Nov 16, 2007 16:46:55 GMT
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm Bike sex man placed on probation
A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.
Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.
Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.
Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.
Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.
"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.
"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.
Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."
Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.
The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.
He now lives in Ayr.Vile.
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Post by sarah on Nov 16, 2007 16:48:04 GMT
yeah i saw that, my friend found it hilarious, i just found it terribly disturbing
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Post by lltoastll on Nov 16, 2007 16:57:17 GMT
how strange...
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Post by abolishconfusion on Nov 16, 2007 16:59:58 GMT
Desperate.
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Post by youwantthis on Nov 16, 2007 17:01:32 GMT
Well he was in the privacy of his own home...
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Post by abolishconfusion on Nov 16, 2007 17:08:57 GMT
Nice to see you back anyway. Where have you been?
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Post by stationtostation on Nov 16, 2007 17:09:03 GMT
YES YES YES YES!!!!!
Shes back and I'm so excited I'm using excessive exclamation marks.
Hail Youwantthis.
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Post by Rhiflect on Nov 16, 2007 17:16:35 GMT
How actually random And sick. A bike?! Could he SERIOUSLY not find anything else? :/
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Post by youwantthis on Nov 16, 2007 17:16:59 GMT
Oh my days!! We changed internet providers.. and there was a problem with connection. Me without interent for about two months is not good. Then when i got on, i couldn't log in.
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Post by stationtostation on Nov 16, 2007 17:18:55 GMT
Seriously you have never been more needed by this forum than now, we should have some sort of giant signal to summon you during times of forum need like the one Batman has in Gotham City..
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Post by ihaveanego on Nov 16, 2007 17:19:08 GMT
I think if he wants to fuck his own bike, he should have the right to.
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Post by zicole on Nov 16, 2007 17:23:51 GMT
Do they really have to put a picture of a bike in the article? I mean, come on.
Alternate captions: "Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike...this is what a bike looks like." "This is the bike Mr Stewart was caught having sex with."
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Post by youwantthis on Nov 16, 2007 17:26:38 GMT
Seriously you have never been more needed by this forum than now, we should have some sort of giant signal to summon you during times of forum need like the one Batman has in Gotham City.. I have noticed nothing seems to have.. moved. It still looks the same. Loads of threads to read..
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Post by youwantthis on Nov 16, 2007 17:27:10 GMT
I think if he wants to fuck his own bike, he should have the right to. I agree. Same with a 40 year old fucking a 7 year old i say.
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Post by lastgoodbye on Nov 16, 2007 17:54:54 GMT
Oh, there's more: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7098116.stm" - In 1997 Robert Watt, 38, was fined £100 for trying to have sex with a shoe in an Edinburgh street - In 2002 the same man was arrested for simulating sex with a traffic cone in front of a crowd of people" Sounds like a fun guy...
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Post by Rhiflect on Nov 16, 2007 18:08:52 GMT
Haha, that is some straaange fetish.
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Post by voilathestars on Nov 16, 2007 18:39:45 GMT
hahahaha
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Post by allison on Nov 16, 2007 18:50:02 GMT
ahhh maybe thats what "vented bike seats" are really for....
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Post by jay on Nov 16, 2007 19:41:32 GMT
the thing i love the most about that story is this quote.
"sorry love, i thought you were my wife."
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Post by mynameisHughGrant on Nov 16, 2007 21:50:56 GMT
is that even illegal?
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