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Post by helwin tins on Mar 24, 2010 16:54:32 GMT
the description promises discussion of sex, and i don't feel as a board we fill that quota, so lets get onto the personal questions. feel free to elaborate.
no hilarious option because i'm actually interested in the result.
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Post by jadeface on Mar 24, 2010 16:57:15 GMT
I was 17. I had 'opportunities' before that, but I wasn't really that interested in sex. I was involved with people sexually before that, but it was just something I did, not enjoyed. I guess I was a bit late in maturing, sexually. Well compared to all my friends anyway.
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Post by husbandwifeheroin on Mar 24, 2010 16:59:01 GMT
16. Romantic. Not sloshy like a 90s Sitcom, but still nice.
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Post by Lemon Bloody Cola on Mar 24, 2010 16:59:44 GMT
I remember Jose Mutiny making this thread yyyeeeaars ago. Some sex discussions would be interesting but it's a hard thing to talk about maturely without people getting squirmy/uncomfortable.. naturally.
I was 18.. not far off 19, I'd go on to have a fair amount of sex over the next year or two then NOTHING AT ALL for... a stupidly long time now.
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Post by vultures on Mar 24, 2010 17:08:29 GMT
16! its good to see no one has voted under 12 haha
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Post by helwin tins on Mar 24, 2010 17:09:43 GMT
i was 14, but it won't let me vote :S
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Post by jay on Mar 24, 2010 17:10:18 GMT
i was 18. woo.
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Post by sarah on Mar 24, 2010 17:12:02 GMT
17, and i still find it hilarious a year on that i'm not a virgin anymore. i think there might be something wrong with me
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Post by idreamofcherrypies on Mar 24, 2010 17:13:27 GMT
18. I'm always so boring and predictable and then a last-minute opportunity for a one-night-stand cropped up and I thought why not surprise myself and be spontaneous.
(Now I have that American Beauty quote in my head about knowing after all these years you can still surprise yourself. I'm too susceptible to people's avatars)
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Post by irrelevant on Mar 24, 2010 21:20:18 GMT
21, after a lengthy courtship. my patience is only matched by my unmerciful bedroom stamina.
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Post by lastgoodbye on Mar 24, 2010 21:27:42 GMT
As an interesting side-discussion (if Sibz doesn't mind) - what does everyone think about the 'right' age to have sex, with special reference to the 16+ law? (which isn't really a law, because if no one ever gets punished for breaking it, it's not a law) I think it's 14 in some parts of continental Europe and they have much lower teen pregnancy and STI rates and such?
My current standpoint would be that whatever age you want to have sex, that's fine. There are child protection issues with that, though. If I could make the law, it would be like.. over 20's aren't allowed to have sex with anyone under 16, and over 16s aren't allowed to have sex with anyone under 14, and then call it a day at that. But I haven't thought this through much so I'd be interested to see what other people think.
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Post by husbandwifeheroin on Mar 24, 2010 21:36:17 GMT
There is no 'right' time really, at least not a universal time for everyone. I agree with you, that certain limitations have to be in place. I found this, a list of Age of Consents around the world including gay: www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm
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Post by sarah on Mar 24, 2010 21:38:49 GMT
i think the lower pregnancy/sti rates is probably more to do with quality of sex education in europe, though i may be wrong
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Post by Lemon Bloody Cola on Mar 24, 2010 21:46:01 GMT
Ha! Me and Sibz had a big disagreement about this one once.
It all basically boils down to if you believe the law/government protecting the vulnarble is your priority or if personal freedom of choice and an open mind/diverse approach is your bag. Obviously the second option has more overt risk, and the first is more ridged and restrictive. So it's the old security/safety vs freedom chesnut fundamentally.
My view is that maturation rates are so varied setting age limits and shit is always going to be somewhat arbitary. I'm not in NAMBLA, I believe sex is very deeply psychologically damaging for children, and anyone not mentally ready for the act. I suppose that means you have to set a "floor" somewhere, the hard thing is balancing that with avoiding criminalising consenting people or passing judgement on how others choose to live and love.
Some 14 year olds are mature enough to psychologically handle a sexual realtionship, some people waaayy into their twenties are not and especially vulnerable to predators. My view is as little ridged "one size fits all" state interference and as much frank and open education/discussion, and volunteery community/family/peer-group support and protection of vulnerable people as possible. Which is boringly pretty much my view on everything political.
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Post by lastgoodbye on Mar 24, 2010 22:14:55 GMT
Anna that's a super interesting link. Some odd stuff, like how in Grenada, Guyana, Kenya, Malaysia (and a bunch of others) gay men can't have sex legally, but lesbians can.
Also in a handful of countries the age limit is several years lower for either males or females. I wonder at the cultural/political/demographic reasons behind those laws?
Wait, in the USA all gay sex is illegal for people who serve in the military, but straight sex is fine? Whats up America!?
In Tonga anal sex is illegal regardless of age and gender. Bad times. I wonder what the Tonganese government gains from this.
edit: poor spelling
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Post by mimicry on Mar 25, 2010 0:40:20 GMT
x is illegal for people who serve in the military, but straight sex is fine? Whats up America!? The US military has a "don't ask, don't tell policy" regarding homosexuality-- you're not allowed to serve if you're openly gay, but supposedly no one is going to ask you if you are, so you can be gay and in the military if it's a secret. And yes, it's fucked up. It's one of the things Obama said he'd fix, but he hasn't gotten around to it/forgot about the gays It's a real big debate now. I hate to make sweeping generalizations, but I'm pretty sure any opponents are just afraid of being hit on by members of the same sex.
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Post by izzyplastic on Mar 25, 2010 2:38:23 GMT
i was 16. i think. i can't really remember.
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Post by jadeface on Mar 25, 2010 16:56:53 GMT
^ lol you can't remember?
Do people think that boys, on average, mature sexually before girls? Sometimes I think this is why girls are groped and disgusting things happen in school. Well they did at mine. Boys seem to 'want it' much earlier than girls do. And so sometimes it seems like there's pressure and harassment because boys don't really know how to deal with it. I don't know, I'm generalizing here.
I don't regret my first time though, at all. We were pretty good friends and it was nothing serious and I didn't want it to be super meaningful, I think that's what put me off when I was with boyfriends before that. I just trusted him and it felt right so that's why it happened.
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Post by lastgoodbye on Mar 25, 2010 16:59:41 GMT
Biologically girls mature three years ahead of boys. Maybe there's more pressure on boys culturally to be more sexual earlier.
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Post by jadeface on Mar 25, 2010 17:05:57 GMT
Hmm, I didn't know that. Well maybe because we are 'ahead' boys have more new sensations and whatnot which is why it dominates some peoples behaviour? I'd like some boys on here to speak up Who knows, I just definitely know that boys harass SO MUCH. Not all boys at all, probably quite a small number when I think about it. But those that do, can be quite extreme. At school, it didn't happen to me but it happened a lot to people around me. Girls would 'do things' that they got absolutely no pleasure out of because it was things that the boys initiated. And some boys would even expose themselves to girls with reputations and request sexual favours. Pretty awful...
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