ever fallen in love with someone

[helwin tins]

feel free to share stories people.

[jay]

i voted for 'yes, multiple times' because i've had two serious relationships in which i believe i've loved and been loved in return. still in the most recent one; we'll have been together for three years this june.

despite having said 'two serious relationships', they're also the only relationships (romantic-wise) that i've ever had. so... yeah. not many stories to share, really!

[wakefromthysleep]

There were some people that I fancied but I properly fell in love with someone once. (edit: same story as in Periods-thread.. sorry for repetition but this is the topic)
my best friend. I behaved like a total idiot and saw his name everywhere and thought 'oh, this is a sign. we really belong together'. but we don't because he didn't have the same feelings. we tried to stay friends. it didn't work. I fell in a deeply depressive and selfdestructive mood. sometimes I meet him at uni nowadays but it always feels strange when we talk.

more anecdotes about behaving like an idiot when you're in love tomorrow. I have to sleep now

[idreamofcherrypies]

I dunnooo, because now it's done I'm like hmmm, was I or did it just feel like it, first person, etc. It was all messed up by the end anyway, I was more like a counsellor than a girlfriend and when it's long distance too, it's just too much not hearing from someone for three weeks at a time because they couldn't bear to speak to anyone, and then when they do never being able to have a proper conversation because it never managed to get beyond 'Aww what a shame how are you do you want to talk about it' etc. I mean to be fair part of it they couldn't help because they have like this seemingly-incurable illness, but everything else that came with it was just too much.

Yeah that wasn't a happy von trappy love story, sorry..

[mimicry]

I was hoping that the entire question would be "ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've?)" I am dissapoint.

[Aly]

I don't think I have. I don't think I can distinguish flings from real love. Is love the way they describe it on tv? if so, I don't think so. I know that on t.v it's sometimes "glamorized" but I don't think I've had any strong feelings for someone, like how people described it.

[jay]

^ love's a really personal and subjective thing, dude. your experience isn't going to be the same as anyone else's on this board, i bet. TV = a bad place to search for a definition.

to be honest, i'm not all that sure of a solid definition myself. i just know that i feel very secure with my boyfriend and i love his company and the way he makes me feel, and also when i look to the future, he is there with me. i couldn't imagine not being with him.

(now, i will feel like a tit if we happen to break up at some point BUT i'm strongly hoping not. i want to marry him! le sigh.)

[Aly]

yeah, love isnt a very concrete idea, but, you know, people say you'll know when you feel it

[jay]

i did know, but there wasn't a kind of... shock, slap-in-the-face kind of realisation. i don't know if my case is too sappy/flowery, but i feel like i always knew, even when i first met my boyfriend. we have a really sugary soulmates affair. vom!

[Tellurium]

Twice. The first time I had my heart broken, which taught me a lot about myself and why people do the things they do. Love DOES make you behave like an idiot sometimes (re: romi). And that's precisely why I find it so fascinating.

The second one, I'm still in, and plan to be for a very long time (moving in with him in 2.5 weeks). Life is pretty schweet.

Also, the term "sugary soulmates affair" is my new favorite thing ever.

[Lemon Bloody Cola]

Mar 31, 2010 0:45:39 GMT mimicry said:

I was hoping that the entire question would be "ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've?)" I am dissapoint.

Ditto.

Hard for me to gauge love being as I'm so obsessive about everything I like, including people. I think the first time I've properly been in love was last year however, the most awkward circumstances possible and my lifes gone to complete shit since.

What a cheery wee tale!

[jadeface]

I'm in love with the person that I'm with now.
Before him, I thought I loved this boy that I went out with for a while. I know that I didn't. Why? Because I couldn't tell him anything, I wasn't comfortable with him, I didn't want to do anything physical with him (I found it disgusting even though he was a very good looking boy) and in hindsight I'm not sure what I found so alluring.

But yeah, I've been with 'this one' for 3 years now, he was my friend before, we used to go out all the time, but I always liked him, I just never said anything because I thought it was pointless. He was the same, until eventually I had the guts to just say LOOK THIS IS THIS AND I'M JUST SAYING IT BECAUSE THEN I WON'T FEEL AWKWARD. And then we talked about it (timidly, we were both quite shy with each other because it was weird crossing the boundaries from friendship).
We never argued or had problems up until this year, but I think these things were supposed to happen to make us stronger as people and also realise that we're more serious than we thought we were. I was a bit of a commitophobe, and he's quite cynical about relationships when his parents are divorced, he hates his dad and all relationships he knows are a bit fucked. But I can tell him anything, do anything, I can jump around and scream and I can also go through one of my crazy destructive moments and he won't even dwell on it or think about it again. Yes. I can't really pinpoint it. But it's fun, and that's the best thing.

[Ana]

Mar 31, 2010 0:45:39 GMT mimicry said:

I was hoping that the entire question would be "ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've?)" I am dissapoint.

it should have at least been an option on the poll!

as far as love goes, i've never felt it i dont think. im pretty sure i was close to falling in love with luke but its been a year so surely i would know for sure? sometimes i feel like killing him, my god the amount of times we could have just stopped talking to each other and never meet again but something keeps bringing us back together. yeah it's been a year but i'm still confused about my feelings for him...

[husbandwifeheroin]

Fell in love once, still am in love with him, but apparently I'm too passive aggressive to love in return.

[sarah]

yes, it was a ROLLERCOASTER RIDE for several years, because i was quite young and he was in a relationship before i could TELL HIM HOW I FELT + long distance shit. but now everything is pretty stable and it's awesome. i don't want to sound like a nob but uh we're perfect for each other~~~~~ TEEHEE

[thecircusgirl]

I fell in love with her a few years ago and I thought she at least liked me too. I'm still in love with her but she's getting married (to a man) next week.

[izzyplastic]

was totally in love with a woman, it was pretty serious, there was even mild, non-serious but wistful talk of marriage...

and then she hit off to san francisco for 3 months, came back, broke up with me and effectively ruined my life. not just the act of breaking up with me, but the sequence of events that followed brought to a total end my time in the city i'd been living in happily for 4 years.

love's a bitch, not really worth it. been in love one other time, but it's not much of a story. i'm now in the "don't ever fall in love again" category, though i still enter into relationships knowing that i'll never let it amount to anything. (like my current one, which i let start even though i knew i was only here for 6 months)

[jadeface]

But surely you can let yourself be happy, let yourself enjoy it? I don't think you should restrict yourself from having feelings if you do, because it's not really fair on yourself. I think being in love and getting hurt are things that can and do happen, but I think if you never let yourself have another chance then surely that's not fun? And also if you were with someone that was really into you, unless you tell them from the word go that you're never going to love them (which is a little harsh) they're going to end up hurt themselves, no?

I know I'm super young, and that is scary for me feeling like the relationship I'm in now, I could happily let be the final one that I have. But there's nothing wrong with that, being young doesn't make it any less valid, surely? I may get to a few years time and realise things are terrible or we both fall out and hurt each other, but right now I don't feel like that can happen. We both feel the same and we both always have done. But I remain comforted in the fact that, If I ever did something bad to hurt him, I'd love him enough to let him be happy (whether that meant walking away from me, or not). And also, if he did something super shitty to me, I am pretty sure he'd let me walk away for good if he knew that I'd have a happier life. I think that's what makes me realise that I'm in love? (lol) but, knowing that it's not totally selfish, knowing that I'd learn to be happy for him if he wasn't happy with me. Sure it would be super hard but I'm pretty sure I mean that.

[izzyplastic]

i have told them from the get go, and she's still willing to be involved, so...

part of it is that i don't live just to fall in love with someone. i know it's the traditional thing, that it's all about finding a "mate" and settling down, but i'm more interested in experiences as a whole, how many different experiences i can have in life. way i see it, i've already done the love and loss thing. if i got into it again, i'd just be repeating myself, which i try not to do (as evidenced by heading off to china instead of moving back to london)

and regards the second part, i did the whole leaving her alone and letting her off in a new relationship almost straight away thing so she'd be happy and so on. i'm not going out of my way to avoid love, but i'm a lot more realistic about it, and it's not one of my main goals in life.

[jadeface]

^ no you make sense in what you're saying, I think we're all built differently and we all like different things. I just thought maybe you were denying yourself love, like forcing yourself not to, but if you are happy then that's all that matters I think

I never had myself down as the relationship type, I'm a pretty independent person and I find that I can function pretty well without someone by my side. I've lived alone for three months and I actually get by really well, I don't rely on anyone to make me feel safe, or to get myself through the day. However, I love what I have in my relationship, I wouldn't trade it for being by myself by choice.

But I understand what you mean about repeating yourself, I guess you want to discover lots of new things all the time, and I like that. I'm super voyeuristic and really interested in people's lives but I'm not often interested in being attached to them. I think that's why I end up using that interest creatively, because although I find everyone in the whole world interesting, I don't necessarily like them or want to befriend them.

That's totally off topic, haha.