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Post by helwin tins on Aug 24, 2010 23:34:48 GMT
"i saw the best romantic comedy.... to be fair it was a porn" -obeseguy
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Post by Rhiflect on Aug 25, 2010 16:00:47 GMT
HAHAHA!
"He's so skinny, he looks like he's ill!" Simon Amstell: "That's my type"
Reppin' skinny lovers (inadvertent Bon Iver pun), YES Simon Amstell!
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Post by jay on Aug 25, 2010 19:42:50 GMT
ahahaha. it could be his last date EVER.
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Post by Rhiflect on Aug 25, 2010 20:04:18 GMT
'an abundance of pussy' is just the best thing!
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Post by jay on Aug 25, 2010 20:09:07 GMT
an adequate amount of pussy?
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Post by Rhiflect on Aug 25, 2010 20:16:59 GMT
Hahaha <3
(most pointless post ever).
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Post by wanderer on Aug 27, 2010 19:27:06 GMT
My friend Joe, to another friend: "I know it's manly...but why is there blood all over you?"
...it seemed funny at the time.
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Post by Rhiflect on Aug 27, 2010 23:25:10 GMT
My aunt, mother and I went on a walk to the beach. On the way home, the women suddenly stopped and looked scared. I'd walked RIGHT PAST a man lying on the ground, asleep/looking like he was dead. My auntie decided to wake this clearly homeless man up (i stood a good 10m away) this is the ensuing conversation:
Aunt: are you okay? Man: i'm drunk and BLIND Aunt: Do you have a place to stay, a shelter? Man: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF Aunt: Do you have someone you can talk to? Man: THE ONLY PERSON I CAN TRUST IS JESUS
...we left after this. Partly because we were clearly going nowhere, and partly because he'd fallen asleep again. Oh dear.
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Post by choolin firth on Aug 29, 2010 21:16:54 GMT
Me: It's impossible for someone to completely change over 10 days isn't it? Liz: Not unless you have Michael Jackson's surgeon
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Post by Rosie The Red on Sept 2, 2010 23:41:45 GMT
My friend: 'men physically can't be fit and lovely it forces them to be gay'
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Post by wakefromthysleep on Sept 3, 2010 15:50:07 GMT
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Post by helwin tins on Sept 3, 2010 21:24:44 GMT
My aunt, mother and I went on a walk to the beach. On the way home, the women suddenly stopped and looked scared. I'd walked RIGHT PAST a man lying on the ground, asleep/looking like he was dead. My auntie decided to wake this clearly homeless man up (i stood a good 10m away) this is the ensuing conversation: Aunt: are you okay? Man: i'm drunk and BLIND Aunt: Do you have a place to stay, a shelter? Man: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF Aunt: Do you have someone you can talk to? Man: THE ONLY PERSON I CAN TRUST IS JESUS ...we left after this. Partly because we were clearly going nowhere, and partly because he'd fallen asleep again. Oh dear. that's... tragic
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Post by Lawrence on Sept 3, 2010 21:50:23 GMT
How come it's ok to talk to "God" and this Jesus guy but if you talk to other invisible people you can be labelled insane?
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Post by Lawrence on Sept 3, 2010 21:50:42 GMT
FUBAR
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Post by helwin tins on Sept 4, 2010 0:36:11 GMT
in the case of schizophrenics committing crimes: if they say "god" told them to commit a crime, as opposed to an unnamed/faceless voice they tend to get half the jail sentence/be let out of psychiatric unit in half the time. even if the only way the claim differs is the way the voice is addressed.
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Post by Lemon Bloody Cola on Sept 5, 2010 22:23:12 GMT
"I can always remove my trouser bulge if it starts to get in the way of my partying"
Florence
Also "She was the most friendly duck, in a terrifying way"
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Post by Rhiflect on Sept 14, 2010 21:48:23 GMT
"I bet he's looking forward to all that rum, bum and baccy" - My mum on George Michael going into jail.
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Post by victorinox on Sept 16, 2010 5:36:56 GMT
"Peer editing other essays makes me feel so confident about mine. This girl had all these personal pronouns, not to mention she stated that The Last Supper was completed in 1948." "GUESS THEY FINALLY STOPPED EATING, HUH"
My friend Aaron actually does stuff in his English class. Today we listened to Eminem.
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Post by Rosie The Red on Sept 19, 2010 21:09:51 GMT
'People pay to get molested by the pope?!!' - My sister. She's 13.
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Post by valentinev on Sept 19, 2010 22:07:22 GMT
(Un)famous politician talking about the pedophile shizkebab here in Belgium : The bishop should be castrated, with two bricks .... Our whole country is in a uproar due the famous bishop 'vangheluwe' that rapes children and gets away with it, Patrick Wolf, sing your song, write his name with shit across the town !!!
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