loneliest i've ever been. =(

[oceanofnoise]

i know you hardly know me, but i need some nice words at the moment.


i'm currently an au pair in bristol, uk. i'm here for 7 weeks or so and i've got to leave my hostfamily on september 6 because it didnt work out.

i said to myself that didnt want to go home, that i needed this year off (just finished school) and besides i love bristol! i decided to find myself a job and a room..

but now i dont know if i'm strong enough. i've been looking for a room for 1 1/2 weeks now and i can't find one that fits. i've got an appointment for an interview at h&m tomorrow which is the first step i suggest.

but i feel so alone, i've got noone to help me. i could cry. would be so much easier to just take a flight home...

i dont know what to do.

[birdwhistle]

I don't know how to help you but I am really sorry to hear this. And I'm sure the strength is in you, and there ARE people to help, helplines and things to offer advice or comfort. And I'm sorry you feel so lonely, too. That is a bitch of a feeling. :-\

[indiequeen]

dont think your not strong enough, because you are! anyone who thinks they can will.i was terrified to fly to spain on my own, but i did it because i told myself i could. theres no reason that you cant. i say, take it one step at a time. concentrate on your interview tommorow and do your best. dont be nervous. then the house hunting. even if a flat dosent fit right, make it fit with decorating and your own personal touches. if you love bristol, theres no reason for you to go.

i hope thats helped a bit

[coco]

Ahh, I recognise that feeling! It happened the same to me when I arrived alone at San Francisco. But after some difficult times, I enjoyed the best experience of my life, though it seemed imposible at first. The first days, even weeks, are difficult, but everything will be better for you, I'm sure of that. Go to that interview with positive thoughts on your mind, try to get the job, or another one if it finally is not for you. Once you've found a job, you'll meet people, maybe in your same situation. Go to places where you can find foreign students, maybe a library, a pub, the university... they're probably alone, scared and looking for friends, just as you are. About the room... why don't you try soemthing like a residence club? There might be more people like you. And if the place you can afford is not what you expected, think that it's just the beginning, that maybe you'll find a better job later on, or maybe that once you've made some friends you can move with them...

I'm really sorry that you're feeling like that, but don't give up, the easy way is going back home, but who wants to follow the easy way? Everything will finally be alright, believe me

[obeseguy]

Carry on.

Loneliness always passes.

[abolishconfusion]

Come to London. Me and Jess will look after you.

[bluearrangements]

Awwh I've so been there
When I went to spain I was completely on my own. A bit depressed. Well, you know, actually depressed. Wasn't to do with the country or anything, it was just a ...ummm....quarter life crisis or something. Stayed in bed for about four months, got out of bed to do exams, finally made some friends and then went home. I live in Bath (well I move back in a couple of weeks), so if you fancy a night out electro style or shopping or a picnic etc... let me know. Bristol's only ten mins on the train. And don't do what I did. People are good. There are some sexy ones in Brizzle. Like Sid from skins. I heard he still works in topshop xxxx

[abolishconfusion]

My friend's in Skins. Interesting offtopic fact.

[indiequeen]

is it tony?

[abolishconfusion]

No it's Posh Kenneth. The token black guy.

[Deleted]

Will you tell him my brother thinks he's awesome?

[indiequeen]

uk.youtube.com/watch?v=FIN7Az7bhZ0

BRILLIANT!!

[abolishconfusion]

Yeah sure. I think he's just playing himself sometimes.

[obeseguy]

Dudezz stop hijacking this girl's thread with shit about Skins!

[abolishconfusion]

*mumbles* Sorry Jess....

*shuffles off*

[oceanofnoise]

thanks for all your kind words.

but things are not looking good.

i went to that interview this morning and did my best. it was really nice and even took longer than planned. but in the end she said that they were actually looking for people to stay longer. and as i didnt lie to her i said that i'd probably leave after a year. she said she really liked my answers and that she didnt doubt i was a good worker.
they might invite me for a second interview but i wont know that before next wednesday and i have to leave next thursday!
so if i decide to wait for next wednesday (if i decided to go, i would have to book the flight tomorrow or so) and i dont get the job...well....that would be bad. i dont know where to go. there maybe one possibility, but its not sure. i didnt get any replys for my other applications so far. i mean...my parents would borrow me some money for the first rent but thats it.

i dont know if i should risk it. it could be turn out to be a huge mistake. and my only friend here is going to germany next week for 10 days.

aaaaaaaaaaaargh!

[mimicry]

You could phone up the places you've applied but haven't heard back from, and politely ask about the status of your application. It makes you look like you're really interested in working there, too.

Gook luck to you, hon. I'm rooting for you.

[binglybongly]

My friends write for Skins. I am totally teh jealous, but they are renowned comedians and I am not.

[oceanofnoise]

im going home next week...

at least ive got some plans about what to do, which is actually a good thing because i didnt have them before i moved to bristol.

[lastgoodbye]

Sibz and binglybongly, those are some awesome Skins-related facts.

And oceanofnoise, good luck with your plans. I hope they go to plan...