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Post by Rebekah on Jun 21, 2007 0:30:02 GMT
Do you want to taste and see?
Actually, that's a wonderful story. I don't usually feel very negative about myself, mostly because I don't think about it. But SOMETIMES, I just can't help it.
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Post by mimicry on Jun 21, 2007 0:34:42 GMT
I can't help it sometimes either, I think everyone has their moments. (Like just now I was thinking, damn, my uper arms sure are pretty flabby, then I remembered everything I'd just written. ) I'm just saying that for the most part, I'd say 86% of the time, I'm happy with myself.
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Post by Rebekah on Jun 21, 2007 2:46:56 GMT
I don't think it matters how many regimens I go on for clearing up my skin, it will still be as hateful as ever. :-\
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Post by Clare on Jun 21, 2007 8:09:37 GMT
I hate that I have really scarred thighs. I can't go out wearing clothes that might reveal them. Swimming bottoms are a no-no - even if I wanted to go swimming, I'd have to wear boy's trunks; and many of the scars are really raised (the sort that they give you stitches for), so they stand out against fabric anyway. Aw, Clare, I sympathize. I love you so. Do stockings work? There are always fishnets that can breathe in the summer. The only way tights really cover them so that my legs look normal is if the tights are, like, 100 denier, so massively thick and wooly. I sometimes wear a long skirt and over-the-knee tights to allow my legs to breathe. I've tried massaging tea tree oil and vitamin E cream into my scars to get them to fade a bit but the only thing that's really worked is time, and even then, the hypertrophic scars don't fade. I think the reason I hate my body comes from a few things. Obviously, my eating disorder is a manifestation of how much I hate myself; and self-harm is something to do with it too. As has already been over a few months ago in the infamous "self harm" thread, I don't exactly have a shining history. I was severely bullied when I was younger, and then I fell into the circle of abuse at the hands of men. I remember one who would spit on me and tell me that I was ugly. He made me list all the faults in my body before he would have sex with me. Yeah, that was kinda fucked up? That, and living with a mother who likes to remind me she was a size six when she was my age. All this bad stuff came out as self harm and eating disorders... Which, y'know, generally didn't help the self-esteem boat. Edit: I totally sympathise about big pores and acne!
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Post by abolishconfusion on Jun 21, 2007 9:31:20 GMT
Aw, Clare, I sympathize. I love you so. Do stockings work? There are always fishnets that can breathe in the summer. The only way tights really cover them so that my legs look normal is if the tights are, like, 100 denier, so massively thick and wooly. I sometimes wear a long skirt and over-the-knee tights to allow my legs to breathe. I've tried massaging tea tree oil and vitamin E cream into my scars to get them to fade a bit but the only thing that's really worked is time, and even then, the hypertrophic scars don't fade. I think the reason I hate my body comes from a few things. Obviously, my eating disorder is a manifestation of how much I hate myself; and self-harm is something to do with it too. As has already been over a few months ago in the infamous "self harm" thread, I don't exactly have a shining history. I was severely bullied when I was younger, and then I fell into the circle of abuse at the hands of men. I remember one who would spit on me and tell me that I was ugly. He made me list all the faults in my body before he would have sex with me. Yeah, that was kinda fucked up? That, and living with a mother who likes to remind me she was a size six when she was my age. All this bad stuff came out as self harm and eating disorders... Which, y'know, generally didn't help the self-esteem boat. Edit: I totally sympathise about big pores and acne! go to you doctor, explain about the scars and ask for aprescription cream to fade them. the good ones have silicone in them
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Post by abolishconfusion on Jun 21, 2007 9:36:06 GMT
Ok. So pretty much everyone has a fairly negative view of their own body. What is it that makes you feel that way about yourself? Why do you think you are unhappy with your body? Stuff like bullying, "peer pressure", particular events. Society in general? Or is it just what people do, moan about their bodies? Is it just normal and natural to be critical of ourselves? I think my dislike of my own physical appearance is very logical. "Beauty" is utterly subjective but the fact remains that some people are just intrinsically more attractive to 99% of humanity than others. For example Johnny Depp is empirically more attractive than Johnny Vegas, thats the way it is. I'm aware I'm not an a good looking man, not that no one will ever find my attractive or whatever. I was talking to my therapist the other day and she told me it was a myth the normal people (by "normal people" in this context she meant people who don't suffer from depression) are realistic, she said most people have a level of optimism slightly (if not dramatically) above reality, and that depressed people are often the most realistic of people. I'm not going to walking around and "feel good about myself" and act like I'm good looking, cos to me I would just be deluding myself and setting myself up for a massive fall. I think I have a realistic view of my self. It seems a bit random how to me good looks seem to really enrich peoples lives to a degree, and even give them power, and they're handed out randomly by god or genetics or whatever you believe in.. You just have to make the best of the hand you've got I guess. But its all maddeningly arbitrary. I like to think I see myself in pretty much the same way, I'm quite aware that I'm not standardly "beautiful" or whatever, but to deny that I have positive features clearly doesn't make sense if I'm willing to acknowledge the negative ones. I don't plan on ever being "stunning" but I know that I am capable of being interesting looking, and I take advantage of that. And I don't think that it's having good looks that enriches people's lives, I think it's the confidence that you can achieve through being told positive things about yourself, something that a lot of girls in our society seem to miss out on. Then again, my psychologist has referred to me as "the most optomistic depressed person" she's dealt with. What a beautiful oxymoron.
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Post by abolishconfusion on Jun 21, 2007 10:50:37 GMT
I look in the mirror today, I for the first time in ages I didn't feel fat and vile. I'm starting to get use to my new more filled out than before self. I like my eyes, despite the squint problems I have, I dunno if I like my chunky lips or not, some times I do, sometimes I don't. Reading things like this make me happy. Exaltations.
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Post by sarah on Jun 21, 2007 11:36:11 GMT
Ok. So pretty much everyone has a fairly negative view of their own body. What is it that makes you feel that way about yourself? Why do you think you are unhappy with your body? Stuff like bullying, "peer pressure", particular events. Society in general? Or is it just what people do, moan about their bodies? Is it just normal and natural to be critical of ourselves? people rarely compliment me on my looks, which is the way i like it, but i think that might have an effect on people, as the majority like getting compliments (they just embarass me and are replied with an "ORITE KK :/") i'm not the most replusive being on this earth, nor am i particularly pretty, so i dunno, i don't have any qualms on the way i look
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Post by tombland on Jun 21, 2007 11:42:03 GMT
I am well thin. Which I like. Though I'm not good looking, it doesn't bother me. I dunno, I don't even think about it at all.
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Post by blake on Jun 21, 2007 12:08:51 GMT
Personally one issue that means a lot to me, is the whole body issue you lot have been discussing. I was reluctant to comment on this in the thread and I'm reluctant in general because lets face it could easily be interpreted as decisive "new man" sort of sucking up. But few issues really get to much on a gut emotional level as much as the pressures on women to conform to a certain body images and the bombardment of suggestion that makes Women feel ugly and uncomfortable in there own skins. I guess I identify with this issue because I guess my own preoccupation on my appearance based and the self disgust it often brings would probably be stereotypically labeled as quite feminine. Also as a hetrosexual man, I know that the size zero ideal just isn't attractive at all. The love of my life thus far with a size 22 and she was the most beautiful person I've ever known, not "despite" her size but I adored every inch of her as it was and it would have broke my heart to change a thing, and I got stupid "chubby chaser" digs whenever I say that it really annoys me! It makes out like liking larger women is some sort of odd fetish. Eating disorders and all after products of the body image pressure just make me so profoundly sad.
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Post by Jacques Snaefells on Jun 21, 2007 12:24:09 GMT
Right. I have been trying to think about something I like about my appearance since yesterday evening and I finally decided that the only thing I like is my hair colour. The tragic thing is that it is not even my natural hair colour, but it is the only thing I ever receive compliments about (I also receive abuse about it too, but I write that abuse off because it usually comes from complete c*nts). It really put a smile on my face the other day when I went to see Muse: I was soaking wet and severely pissed off, but as I went through the gates the ticket guy was so excited by my hair and gushed compliments that it brightened my day.
Everything else about me on the other hand... Yuck. I scrutinise everything about my appearance and hate it. I regularly get told off by my mum for being so cruel to myself, and not just about my appearance either. No one is as nasty to me as I am to myself. Since I was 8 I have systematically ruining things about the way I look, which is rather odd I know. I just feel in some ways, whilst I'd love to look nice, that I would never want people to like me simply because I looked pretty, or even vaguely passable. I suffer from very confused thoughts. I think that possibly the reason I ruin the way I look is so that if people insult me I can reassure myself and say "Well, I did it to myself. It is intentionally bad and this is not how I would look had I not done anything."
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Post by stentorsrevenge on Jun 21, 2007 12:38:43 GMT
I suffer from very confused thoughts. I think that possibly the reason I ruin the way I look is so that if people insult me I can reassure myself and say "Well, I did it to myself. It is intentionally bad and this is not how I would look had I not done anything." I often believe I do that, too. Sometimes I think I make myself as unpleasing as possible, but I think it's mostly so that I can take pity on myself. I don't look terrible, I am lucky to look the way I do, but then I ruin it. I was thin and much more attractive last summer. Now I have eaten myself into 15 extra pounds, and I am not very pleased. But I still can't stop eating. I think maybe I eat to sabotage my own body.
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Post by Lauren on Jun 21, 2007 12:50:02 GMT
For the first time in a long time, I'm finally exercising, regularly. That makes me feel a bit better. I'm more concerned about my health than the way I look.
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Post by tesla on Jun 21, 2007 13:16:13 GMT
Man, if I had enough time today, I'd have every single one of you give me your picture so that I could reply with some poetic description of your best features. Maybe tomorrow, eh. (;
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Post by Lauren on Jun 21, 2007 13:18:35 GMT
You are lovely.
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Post by stentorsrevenge on Jun 21, 2007 13:23:36 GMT
How kind of you. You're more of an angel than a devil.
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Post by tesla on Jun 21, 2007 13:25:15 GMT
I ran out of halos so I had to use the horns.
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Post by Clare on Jun 21, 2007 13:30:25 GMT
They're just there to keep the halo up.
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Post by bluearrangements on Jun 21, 2007 13:41:20 GMT
Yuck. Body Image
I hate the whole concept of beauty ideals. Yet they still make me feel like absolute crap.
I have an incredibly beautiful sister, who my mum constantly praises for being so beautiful, and thin. She has a perfect figure, and doesn't make any effort for it to be that way- doesn't help
Shops do not cater for 6ft1 girls, especially those who aren't rakes. It's like boobs just don't exist, and I don't look good wearing a fucking paisley tent. Current fashion designers need a bloody good slap.- doesn't help
Men's attitudes really don't help Having big boobs doesn't mean I am easy Being tall doesn't mean I am scary Here in Spain you get crap shouted at you all the time. Regardless of who you may be. It makes you feel like nothing else matters except the way you look.
I have rarely felt attractive to anyone, just sort of leered at for no apparent reason.
I want to be slim. FREE to do/wear what I want without worrying if I look fat.
But mostly I want to not care about any of it, because it's ridiculous.
Crap. I just realised the thread says 'POSITIVE body image'
I really like my hair. Sometimes I like the fact that I stand out. Sometimes I just want to hide.
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Post by tesla on Jun 21, 2007 13:52:28 GMT
I'm aware I'm not an a good looking man, not that no one will ever find my attractive or whatever. I was talking to my therapist the other day and she told me it was a myth the normal people (by "normal people" in this context she meant people who don't suffer from depression) are realistic, she said most people have a level of optimism slightly (if not dramatically) above reality, and that depressed people are often the most realistic of people. I'm not going to walking around and "feel good about myself" and act like I'm good looking, cos to me I would just be deluding myself and setting myself up for a massive fall. I had fun arguing with that the other day. :D But anyways, question: Isn't it better to be confident in yourself and live life in a positive way, than expect a huge fall around every corner? Obviously, you aren't Your Mom, therefore you aren't hideous, therefore someone, somewhere is bound to find you attractive. I mean, if someone finds you attractive, isn't that enough? Or are you looking to be attracted to yourself? Everyone seems to want perfection, but this is contradicted by the apparent "everyone else is beautiful except me" view. The only perfection you'll find is the perfection someone else sees in you.
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