Horrible lyrics

[stationtostation]

Post the most cringesome lyrics you've ever heard, personally I find it more interesting to pin point the lyrical atrocities of "credible" artists than the more obvious shitty lyrics you find in say mainstream pop etc.

To start I give you this pearl from Billy Brag "Just because your gay/I won't turn you away/hey! if you stick around/I'm sure we could find some common ground" Enough to make even the most hardened PC liberal consider a subscription to the Daily Mail..

From The Manic Street Preachers You Love Us "Parliaments a fake life saver/you better wake up and smell the real flavour (or is is FLAVA?)" even as a besotted 14 year old this made me wince. The Manics to be fair had some good lyrics but they are also a treasure trove of awful ones. "God is dead/just like Nietzsche said" and "collapsing like twin towers/falling like April showers" really worthy of Adrian Mole.

[tombland]

I'm sure I can think of dozens for this but my mind escapes me currently. Good thread.

[abolishconfusion]

I think "I was once a boy/Until I cut my penis off" is terribly adolescent and clumsy.

Eminem - "You make my pee-pee go/'Doing-doing-doing'"

Maybe you just can't write songs about penises without them being awful.

There's a Shakira lyric which is something like "I would move to a third world country for you"

[stationtostation]

My most hated Patrick lyric is "A boy like me/should shut those books and join the army" so adolescent/"outsider" cliche it put me off Patrick for ages. Second song I heard when my friend put it on a mixtape for me alongside Pigeon Song which I loved.

[tombland]

Okay, I love A Silver Mt Zion. And though some lyrics are a bit stereotypically "yuhhh, capitalism is like.... crap n stuff", they are generally quite well put together. Apart from one song in particular from the new album.
It's called "1 000 000 Died To Make This Sound", which is a bad start.
It includes such atrocities as:
"One million died to make this sound
Your band
Your band is bland
Your band is bland ambition"

and then this:

"I.S.P. - N.S.A. - C.C.T.V. - D.O.D. - D.O.J. - D.O.C.
I.D.F. - A.O.L. - A.I.P.A.C. - I.E.D - S.U.V. - MP3
I.S.P. - N.S.A. - C.C.T.V. - D.O.D. - D.O.J. - D.O.C.
I.D.F. - A.O.L. - A.I.P.A.C. - I.E.D - S.U.V. - MP3...

One million died to make this sound"
Which is pretty much word for word stolen from Nathan Barley's rap at the Trashbat party.
Unfortunately it's sang in such a way that it sounds like Efrim is singing actual words. But listen closely...

[stationtostation]

I wish I had a parachute cuz I'm falling bad for you
And I can see the ground approaching now
But I'm not sure what to do
I feel like a pinata once you take a swing at me
If you could just crack the shell open
I think inside you would find something sweet.

And I hear you like a hunter now, your footsteps in the leaves
And I would gladly leave my hiding place
So I'm hoping to be seen.
So let your arrow fly
And see I'm well within your aim
And lay your traps for a thousand miles
And please don't let me escape.

Winter came to Omaha and left us looking like a bride
A million perfect snowflakes now
And no two are alike
And so it's hard for me imagining flaws in this design
I know debris, it covers everything
But still I am in love with this life.


Yeah Conor Oberst is blates the new Dylan. In much the same way the poetry I wrote at 14 made me the new Ezra Pound.

[abolishconfusion]

I think I love this thread.

There's a local band who are quite good but as my mother put it "the lyrics made me lose the will to live"

"There was a boy who ate the world/He didn't like it much/But he ate it in one bite"

That song also features a girl with no legs and a boy with no brain.

[tombland]

stationtostation said:

I wish I had a parachute cuz I'm falling bad for you
And I can see the ground approaching now
But I'm not sure what to do
I feel like a pinata once you take a swing at me
If you could just crack the shell open
I think inside you would find something sweet.

And I hear you like a hunter now, your footsteps in the leaves
And I would gladly leave my hiding place
So I'm hoping to be seen.
So let your arrow fly
And see I'm well within your aim
And lay your traps for a thousand miles
And please don't let me escape.

Winter came to Omaha and left us looking like a bride
A million perfect snowflakes now
And no two are alike
And so it's hard for me imagining flaws in this design
I know debris, it covers everything
But still I am in love with this life.


Yeah Conor Oberst is blates the new Dylan. In much the same way the poetry I wrote at 14 made me the new Ezra Pound.

Yup, i despise that song beyond all comprehension. Though being quite a fan of Bright Eyes

[abolishconfusion]

Some Bright Eyes lyrics are ok, some are dire.

"Trashbat is...
A night down the pub with your mates and it's fucking mental
A move from a pub to a club for some awesome sounds
Chopping the chalk out on the cistern
Snouting it up and FUCKING THE SYSTEM

So say Brother Nathan

A taxi home with a bird who's been hitting on you
like some industrial hammer
You're stroking her tits, tending the garden
Giving the taxi driver a hard on

Now back home, fingers roam
Fat reggae on the decks and you're feeling the foam
Trasbat says nice and gently, easy as you park the Bentley

So say Brother Nathan

Bring it down

Trashbat is
Two people leaping from the Twin Towers
But they are fucking on the way down

Trashbat is not
George Bush - take a smack in the mush
You're the President Evil, the Resident Weasel, the axis of diesel
Fuck Enron - fuck Enron - Fuck Enron cos it's fucking wrong

So say Brother Nathan

Trashbat is - a 9/11 of the mind - believe the CLEVER-lution"

Awful, but I fucking LOVE it.

[tombland]

Does it still count if it's meant to be awful?

[abolishconfusion]

Awful is awful is awful. The cunnilingus themed rapping is worse though.

[tombland]

I guess, but it's just not as fun

[stationtostation]

abolishconfusion said:

Awful is awful is awful. The cunnilingus themed rapping is worse though.

But it's genius, awful is when you set out to do something and fail. Like if that had been terminally unfunny or missed the mark of what it was tying to satirise I would consider putting it in this thread. But the English language is all subjective blah blah. Anyway sorry for the pedantry, I enjoyed the Gertrude Steinism there..

Anyway if were putting comedy songs on here I'm reaching for the Anal Cunt..

[admin]

abolishconfusion said:

I think "I was once a boy/Until I cut my penis off" is terribly adolescent and clumsy.

Side effect of him being a clumsy adolescent when he wrote it, I imagine.

Cheerio, Michael. xxx

[Carniche]

I don't think I could slag any Oberst lyrics he's amazing and it could be 'bad' for him but it wouldn't be compared to most people.

I dislike the Libs line "I get along just singing my song"---just don't like it.

Hmm, other than that Kate Nash's entire works and all that rubbish. It's hard to think of credible artists with bad lyrics. U2 are partly credible (even if I hate every song they've made, virtually) I'd assume I don't like their lyrics!

There's a Willy Mason line I really dislike but I can't think of it off the top of my head. Irritating.

[tombland]

Sorry, but most of Conor Oberst's lyrics are wank. Just happens that Theme to Pinata are so dire that they stand out. It's like a turd in a sea of mud.

[stationtostation]

carniche said:

I don't think I could slag any Oberst lyrics he's amazing and it could be 'bad' for him but it wouldn't be compared to most people.

If this was true I would consider abolishing the English language.

[Carniche]

stationtostation said:

carniche said:

I don't think I could slag any Oberst lyrics he's amazing and it could be 'bad' for him but it wouldn't be compared to most people.

If this was true I would consider abolishing the English language.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! What I said is totally subjective, I realise. It's my opinion and in accordance with my personal taste. It's hard to detach his voice from his lyrics actually, so it's also hard to really contemplate saying which ones are bad.
It's not really just the lyrics anyway, if someone changes their tone and pitch they can make 'shit' lyrics sound interesting and make them seem to be so purpose.


I don't quite understand why you would considering abolishing the language because I like Conor Oberst's lyrics.

[mimicry]

Josh/hyperbole OTP <3

But anyway, my favorite couplet of bad lyricism is from the Shangri-Las, "Leader of the Pack":

they told me he was bad / but I knew he was sad

[stationtostation]

mimicry said:

Josh/hyperbole OTP <3

But anyway, my favorite couplet of bad lyricism is from the Shangri-Las, "Leader of the Pack":

they told me he was bad / but I knew he was sad

Ha! Oh glorious subjectivity. I actually love that lyric and find it possibly the high point of a great tune. Sometimes simple lyrics are the most effective (see most of the lyrics to Pet Sounds) and I find that line and the way it's delivered pretty much paints the picture of the tormented bad boy archetype in question perfectly.